Dozens of police officers...

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

There was a third fatal shooting this week at a California Denny’s.
Who would have thought in a Denny’s there would be something more
deadly than the food. Dozens of police officers in Florida were
busted for buying anabolic steroids. Not sure who they were buying
them for but Barry Bonds just posted a Help Wanted sign. The cops
claim they were getting prescriptions from a real doctor. Yes, and
that would be doctor Jose Canseco. A woman on the Atkins diet fell
into a coma. It could have been worse for her, she could have fallen
into a bowl of pasta. A city in California is now the first to have
a complete public ban on smoking. All the people who oppose the ban
issued an angry statement through an artificial voice aide. Some bad
news, two more women have died after taking a new abortion pill. The
good news, the pill works. A new report says that IRS audits are up
21 percent. The good news is people who hate the IRS remains the
same at 100 percent. Simon Cowell has predicted which three American
Idol contestants will finish the show on top. It’s not clear if he
meant on top of the voting results or on top of Paula Abdul.
President Bush said that his Iraq strategy is working. In case
you’re wondering, his strategy is to say it’s working. The President
said Iraqis must form a government that can confront the terrorists,
reach out across religious differences and earn the trust and
confidence of its citizens. And if that works, President Bush says
he’ll try to do the same thing in America. Nicole Kidman has been
questioned by the FBI over private detective Anthony Pellicano’s
alleged wiretapping. The feds were actually tipped off by President
Bush. He said he had a funny feeling he wasn’t the only one
listening to Nicole’s phone calls. Colin Farrell is trying to stop
his ex-girlfriend from releasing a sex tape of them. Apparently the
tape is so bad that Colin is worried people will think he made a
sequel to Alexander.

posted by The Laugh Factory at 11:49 AM