3.28.2006

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Republicans want the government to get tough on immigration and put
armed troops on the border, conservatives want the government to get
even tougher and put a drunk Dick Cheney on the border. The best way
to stop illegals from entering the country would to be putting armed
troops at the entrances of Wal-Marts. 60 percent of Americans oppose
a guest worker program that would offer illegal immigrants lawful
work status. The other 40 percent need landscaping. Did you know
our border security is such a big disaster the most Americans think
it’s runned by FEMA. Just kidding, it’s not that bad. President
Bush’s approval rating continues to drop to record lows. Just to
give you an idea, his rating is now lower than Satan’s. The good
news is that’s still higher than the democrats. Bill Clinton called
the British government the envy of the United States so you know what
that means, Britain must have the hottest government interns.
President Clinton said if you live where he lives and you look across
the Atlantic you see a great looking country. And if you live where
he lives and you look under his desk you see a great looking blond.
Clinton also said that if Iraq wasn’t handled properly it could
become a launching pad for terrorists in the Middle East. But if it
is handled properly we’ll get all their oil. Violent riots broke out
in France over a new job law. The French government wants to assure
their citizens they are doing everything they can to blame this on
America. Tomorrow will be a total eclipse of the sun and there will
be darkness during the day throughout many parts of the world. This
happens every couple of years when Star Jones stands in front of the
sun. Star Jones has lashed out at the media for reporting that she
almost died during a recent cosmetic surgery procedure. And of
course those reports had to be false, look at her, there’s no way she
had cosmetic surgery.

James Harris

posted by The Laugh Factory at 4:36 PM